I'm back!

I bet you all thought I forgot about this blog.  Well, summer was focused on other things, but I didn't forget.  Let's see, this summer I camped for three weeks (off and on, but mostly on), I participated in the 8th annual White Hart Renaissance Festival, I spent a week and a half on vacation at the beach with the fam, and just finished a two week reading orgy (14 books!).  In between times, I've been dealing with my latest and greatest project.  I bought my bus!!!!!!

It's a 1983 GMC school bus, named "Dory," so named because I sang "just keep swimming" a lot in the process of getting her started.  It was a long, long process.  Long.  LONG!

I found the bus on Craigslist for $1200, and called about it.  The next weekend, Dad and I drove down to check it out.  We took it for a test drive, and we broke it.  That sounds bad, but it really wasn't a big deal.  First we ran out of gas.  Then, while we were waiting for the seller to get back with gasoline, we noticed that a hose had come loose, and rubbed against a belt, creating a hole, which spilled a whole bunch of anti-freeze, and we ran down the battery.  It took a total of three trips (plus about $300) down to where the bus was sitting in a field to get it running again.  We have taken it to a repair shop, and they've taken a look, and I'll get an estimate on costs by Tuesday.  Dad is thinking it'll cost around $5000,which he says seems reasonable.  I guess when the average cost of building a tiny house is around $15,000 - $20,000 it's not too bad.

I have already been gifted with a floor, a chemical toilet, and a trickle solar charger for the battery.  I've even made myself a floor plan!  I'm getting excited, and worried, but mostly excited!

There a few pictures, but not many, so I'll post them in another episode.

Shoutout huge thanks to D.P. for driving me back and forth and getting the bus started, Ed from the repair shop who is awesome, Mike for my floor and advice, and finally, Dad for being awesomely supportive.

Didja miss me?

So, I know it's been a crazy long time since I've written.  Or, as my students would say, "Cray cray."

That's right.  I have students.

My life has taken a schizoid turn to the ... well, I guess I'm not really sure what direction it's turned.  I have taken over, mid semester (almost the end, really) for a teacher who decided that they could not finish the year.  Needless to say, it's been a challenging week and a half.  I feel stupidly overwhelmed, and I really don't know whether or not I want to stay on next year.  I know it would be better for the students to see more of the same teachers from year to year, and I really do enjoy my students, but this is not the life I want.

I don't want to feel tied down.  I don't want to feel obligated. 

I guess there can't really be any better trial by fire than this one, and if I can handle these last few weeks of school, I can handle anything.  I think my biggest problem right now is that I am finishing books that the previous teacher started.

Oh yeah, did I mention?  It's an English job.

I really don't like one of the books.  It's boring.  I am the kind of reader (and teacher) who likes to dig for the deeper meanings, of which this book has none.  Blech.  I really don't want to write the test for this book, because all I can think to ask about are trivial details that no one will care about.



On another note, I thoroughly enjoyed the Tiny House workshop in Texas!  It really helped me solidify my ideas about tiny house living.  Plus, I got to go to IKEA!  I've never been before, and that place is nuts.  Great ideas, and nifty little gadgets!  I had a blast.

So, the final decision as per the tiny house?  I am going to convert a school bus.  I'm not sure when I'll have time to convert said school bus, especially if I am offered and decide to accept a full time position next year, but ... it'll happen.  Eventually. (which is a major reason that I don't want to have a "grown up" job.  I can't do what I want to do, when I want to do it, because I have responsibilities and junk.  Blarg.)

Quilty

Just in case you were curious, I didn't get fired.  I am a neurotic mess.  I know this about myself.

With the ridiculous amount of snow days that we've had in KC lately, I have had a lot of time to craft.  I've been working on a quilt that I've had on my to-do list for well over 6 months.  In fact, the baby for whom the quilt is intended is now 7 months old!  There was a design flaw, and finally the quilt became a "pot" quilt, which is my own term for something you either need to finish or scrap (sh*t or get off the pot?  Get it?  ... No?  That's ok).  After a little outsider input from Mom, I fixed the flaw, and finally got the top finished.  Then came the adventure with the back!

I have a lot of fabric.  I think I may have mentioned this before?  When you've been holding on to a project for a while, pieces of said project tend to migrate.  I had bought a backing for this quilt when I first started the project.  And then, it moved.  I searched all of my storage containers, and couldn't find the fabric I had bought!  Finally, admitting defeat, I bought more fabric just at the beginning of the latest snow storm.  Take it home, wash it, and it's the wrong color.  I was not happy.  Then, through a flash of inspiration, I remembered where I put the original fabric!  Well, when we fixed the design flaw, it added two inches of both width and length to the finished top.  The fabric I had bought was not wide enough.  Grr!!!  (Side note: Those of you who quilt will probably recognize that adding two inches to the fabric shouldn't have been as big of a deal.  You're supposed to leave yourself around 4 inches on all sides.  This is the problem with being frugal when you buy fabric.  Lesson learned, but probably not for the last time).  Finally, I ended up using a completely different color as the backing, and am now happily hand-quilting away!

I seem to go through a lot of backings when I make quilts.  Somehow, the tops always end up bigger than I expect, or originally design.  Sometimes, I can piece the backing, but a lot of the time, I just buy more fabric.  I'm starting to see a very distressing pattern emerge.

On the hand quilting.  I really kind of hate machine quilting.  This is probably because my machine is really poorly designed for it.  It used to have a plate that covered the feed dogs, because they don't drop, and because it's old and plastic pieces break, I had to replace the whole feed dog plate, and now the cover doesn't fit. I end up wrestling with a ton of fabric, it's a very stressful process, and I'm usually dissatisfied with the outcome.  Hand quilting, on the other hand (ha!), is a fun process for me.  I get to be much more improvisational, and I don't have to worry about the fabric bunching, or not having enough control.  It's almost a zen thing for me.  And not taking nearly as long as I remembered it taking the first time I did hand quilting.

It's a new month, so I'm renewing my resolutions.  My friend Heather is doing a 21 day fitness challenge because it supposedly takes 21 days to form a new habit.  Maybe I should try something like that.  Not for fitness, because I don't care as much about that, but for organization?  We shall see...

Breathing is hard.

I am not any "job."  If the job is no longer an option, I will find another.  I am worth more than any "job."  All that losing a job means for me is an opening of the horizon.  If I no longer have a job, I can choose to make whatever changes I want.

No, I didn't get fired (I don't think).  About 5 years ago, I was working at a day care in Kansas City.  I had a BAD DAY.  I almost quit at lunch that day.  I later wished I had.  There was an incident with a parent, and when I let my bosses know what was going on, they said, "don't worry, don't take it so personally, it'll be ok."  20 minutes later, I was called into the office and fired with no explanation.  I think that they had been looking for a way to fire me, because I had been upfront with them about wanting to move.  Whatever their reason, I am still profoundly affected by their actions.  Any time I have a conversation with my boss, I start having panic attacks that I will be fired, regardless of whether or not anything bad has happened.  If, however, I have recently had a bad day, the panic increases exponentially.  I hate that I panic and start crying in front of my bosses.  I have always had a problem with feeling the need to be perfect.  If I am not perfect at something, I either shut down, or panic. If it's not important, I shut down.  If it is important, I panic, cry, obsess, and generally make myself crazy.

I had a bad day at work the other day.  I ended up talking with multiple bosses, and everything was resolved (I think).  I even had better days afterwards.  But, an off-hand question from one of my bosses over the phone this morning has started the panic cycle over again.

I keep telling myself that it's probably nothing; that even if I am fired, I can use it as an opportunity; that it's not the end of the world.  I'm not sure, however, if I can make myself believe it.

...

On a completely different topic, I had a dream last night about my tiny house.  I had built a bedroom into the back of a school bus.  It was awesome, and I was so happy to have it!  Then I ran around a school, and ate paper.  It was a bit of a weird dream.

I'd like to go back to school to finish my Master's Degree, so that it doesn't become another thing I "almost" did.  I'd like to stick around the midwest for another year to facilitate this.  But, if I have to leave Kansas earlier than expected, I can still finish my degree.  I'd like to go to Seattle, at least for a while.  Maybe I'll go somewhere else after that.

It's the gypsy life for me, I think.

Documenta-thon

Ok, so I have a bit of an obsession with documentary films.  I love learning and movies, so documentaries are awesome.

I'm currently on documentary 2 of 3 tonight.  I heard something about a sporting event, but didn't really feel like watching it.  Added bonus of not being bombarded by commercialism in fun forms.  At least I had a beer?

What I want to talk about is the second doc.  American Teacher was awesome.  I'm not sure if it was encouraging or discouraging about being a teacher.  It talks about the benefit of good teachers, the problems with teacher compensation, and the way that our society treats teachers.  The movie claims that teachers are not valued in society, which I don't know if I agree with completely.  Yes, looking about how much money teachers make, one could say that we are not highly valued, but I think the issue is more that we are taken for granted.  Add Fox News into that equation, and you get a big mess, but frankly, if you add Fox (faux) News into any equation, you'll get a big mess.  [I can say what I want, it's my blog.]

It was definitely a thought provoking film, highlighting the fact that society's expectations of teachers have increased, but the compensation has not increased by anywhere near a comparable amount.  The film says that teaching is still seen as a secondary income, and not a particularly necessary one at that.  A lot of the movie focuses on the fact that teachers have a hard time making a "decent living."

I definitely had flashes to my intended life style, but I don't think that tiny living should be mandatory for people who want to be teachers, but it really seems that way.  So many teachers have second jobs, either tutoring, after school help, coaching, or even just working outside the education system, just to make ends meet.  I met a teacher when I was working at the sandwich shop in Mt. Vernon who told me that she has to take on a job in the summer.  That feels like a crappy way to reward the people who help our children to succeed in life.  One of the statistics mentioned was that a good teacher can help a student earn $20,000 more in their lifetime than an average teacher.  If that teacher has only 20 students (a small class), that's $400,000 that the teacher has helped his or her students earn.

Lots for my brain to chew on.

On a completely different topic: my January's Resolutions.
Verdict: :-P  Bad, boo, blech.  The resolutions were good ideas, my follow-through and willpower was teh suck.

So, for February, I'll be renewing my resolution to write down my three things to accomplish, and moving a little every day.  I know I should try to limit my media consumption again, but that one was really hard and came with problems of its own, like missing important emails, and needing to communicate with clients.  Also, I was really enjoying a facebook game.  ... *chirp chirp*... *COUGH* Well!  Ok, maybe I'll try to cut back again.

On another completely different topic (or going back to the original topic), I have a semi permanent gig as a Saturday School teacher (half day, full salary), and I am really enjoying subbing so far.  It's exhausting and stressful, but there are moments that make the whole day worth it.

Lastly, and certainly not least (ly), my handsome nephew was born on Friday!  He's tiny, and cute, and sweet, and we're very excited for him to be here.  He apparently was, too, since he's here a month early!  But, he's doing really well, and hopefully won't be in the NICU very long.

Good thing it's almost February

So, my New Year's/Month's Resolutions... Yeah, not so much.  Some of it was due to some health issues, and some of it was due to some poor planning.  For instance: If I had a big project, that I needed to work on all day, I wouldn't write down my three things to do that day.  Then, once I'd finished that project, I'd give myself a "break" and get out of the habit of writing my three things.  I've been having some issues, meds-wise, that's kinda thrown me for a loop.  However, the beauty of New Month Resolutions is that you get a chance to try again every month.  So, that's good.

Tiny house front:
I've seen pictures of converted buses before, but until I saw this bus (originally seen on FaceBook, and taken from twistedsifter.com [NOTE!!!  I do NOT own the images on that link]).  There are some wonderful images of converted buses (by the way, the plural of bus is a weird thing to need to look up).  I love the light, and the fact that you can buy a bus for a heck of a lot cheaper than putting up a frame on a trailer.  There are pro's and con's on both sides, of course, but at the moment, I'm leaning toward the bus rather than the trailer.  I've promised my dad that I won't make a decision until after I've gone to the tiny house workshop (March 23rd!  Can't wait!), but it's hard when I can find a bus that I can buy now (albeit wiping out my savings in one fell swoop).

Anyway, tonight I've got fencing (awesome!), then I'm driving down to Springfield for a meeting with some friends (awesome-er!), and I'm super pumped.  Then, Sunday, I've got to drive back up for my sister-in-law's baby shower.  I suppose I ought to actually get the quilt finished!  LOL!

Busy as a Bee

The last month has been ridiculously sewing laden.  I've finished two quilts, two pairs of pajamas, two dolly pajamas, two dolly quilts, and a Ren Fair costume.  Then, after the sewing was finished, I knitted two dish cloths.  I also had to clean and oil my machine in the middle, since while I was quilting, my machine was squeaking and wheezing.  Not so good!  Picture time!

Another Owl Quilt.  This one went a lot faster than the first one!

A Landscape art quilt.  Lots of embroidery.

Neander-fairy.  I kinda think she's funny.

This part was interesting to do.  I actually had printed off a triquetra and sewed through it.

The most annoying part of the process (actually it wasn't too bad, I just worked on this for way too long, so everything became annoying)

Ren Costume.  Really fun!

Now, here's a question for the blog-o-sphere.  I have a very large stash of fabric.  I didn't realize how large until I had to live with it in my room.  Being an ecologically responsible person, I tend to save scraps, thinking that I will eventually use them.  This is directly at odds with my desire to live in a tiny house.  So, here are the horns of my dilemma.  Save the scraps that are too small for anything but a quilt, or throw them away?  I don't like to throw anything away.  Inherited trait.  But I went through a few of my boxes and found scraps from at least three years ago that I hadn't even looked at.  Hmm....

You might be wondering how I'm doing on my New Month Resolutions.  Well... Not so good.  The internet thing, I'm back to spending too much time on it.  I blame a new game on Facebook.  Well, that and my complete and utter lack of will power.  The active thing (which I realize now that I only posted on Facebook):  I'm not active every day, but more than I was, which I guess is a step in the right direction.  Writing down what I want to get done every day:  That falls by the wayside when there's a project that I want to get done.  Because then I only work on the project all day.  I need to pick it back up again, it really was helpful.  And finally only going out once a week:  I've been told that this wasn't exactly clear and that some people thought that it meant going out to eat.  While that's a good goal, I actually meant going out of an evening.  I do karaoke.  A lot.  While I don't drink much, it does keep me out and up later than is good for me.  Problem is, if someone asks me if I want to go out, I usually can't say no. It's a big psychological deal which probably means that I'm a compulsive people pleaser, but whatever.  Anyway, the great thing about making the resolutions monthly is that I have an opportunity to renew my commitment in three weeks.