Christmas Time is Here...

The Vince Gueraldi trio "Charlie Brown Christmas" is one of my favorite CDs to listen to around this time of year.  The music always just feels like Christmas to me.  This season is one of my favorite times of year.  Possibly also one of the most stressful times of year (preceded only by the beginning of a new semester).

I have always been a bit of a procrastinator.  I guess I never learned those crucial time managements skills.  So, if I have a project I need to get done, I usually way underestimate the time I need to complete it, and then don't even leave myself the time I've estimated needing.  So I cram, and work my butt off for a day or two at crunch time, when I could have been leisurely working on it way before.

Another element of my stress is that I try to do way too much stuff.  For example, this year, I just finished a project for a client (late), and I still need to make Christmas PJ's for my two adorable nieces, as well as for their baby dolls, along with baby doll quilts that match the quilts that I've made for the two of them.  I need to make a fleece tie blanket for my nephew-to-be, and soooooo many more projects!  In addition, I end up singing.  The last couple of years, I would just sing with the adult choir at one of the services on Christmas Eve, but this year, I've sung at church every Sunday, at least once.  I'll be singing in both the 7:00 and the 10:45 services on C.E. and I've been singing and playing piano and guitar at home pretty constantly.

But, really, I don't think I would do anything different.  I love feeling busy, and having things to do with my hands.  I love making things for my friends and family, and giving them something that no one else could give them.  I love spending time with my family and friends (though I prefer small doses of the big family gatherings, otherwise, I pull an Uncle John and disappear for a while in the middle of the party).  William (my brother) is finally home!

Another of my favorite things about Christmas is the food.  We have so many necessary foods here that we have to have to make it feel like Christmas.  Chocolate Star cookies, Peanut Butter Chocolate cookies, Stollen (a fantastic German fruit bread), THE chili.  Mom was so excited the other day when Molly dropped in to make cookies!  They made the stars and the peanut butter ones and the candy cane cookies (which, as far as I know, are no one's favorites, but they are such fun to make and look so neat that we make them every year).

This year, I have been enjoying every moment of Christmas.  It's been a while since I have felt like this.  I think part of it is that I've been in town so I have more time to enjoy it, instead of shoving a month's worth of "Fa La La" into a week.  I also think that my changing expectations and outlook is to blame.  I am enjoying the life I'm living and I look forward to the life I have planned.  So, I guess, Merry Christmas to me.

The girls at the Nutcracker Tea.  I actually got to see the full one, but no pictures.  We used to dance it when we were kids.

William's surprise arrival at Papa Pancakes

In front of the Christmas tree at the church after Carol Sing and Ring, the Christmas Program for the church choirs.

My "Muppet-tree"  (I LOVE it)

Beaker, Kermit (x2), Swedish Chef, and a sneaky Muppet Baby Miss Piggy (who's not really an ornament)

The "Angel" tree

Pointsettas

The "Big" Tree. Note to people who have Hallmark Ornaments which plug into light strands.  They don't work with LED light strands.  Oh well.

Hello.... Is it me you're looking for?

I suppose it's been a while since I posted last.  Thanksgiving was a bit of a bear, as was my birthday, and the oh so lovely bout of "the plague" that my parents blessed me with.

So, I guess I should start with my birthday, as it was farther back.  Drove down to Springfield area to see friends and Avenue Q!  It was awesome.  I got to spend time with friends, experience new things (Diwali festival was awesome), and got a few very meaningful and/or useful gifts.  My favorite is one that I actually received today.  My wonderful, artistic, 5-year-old niece drew a picture of herself, and her sister and me, and MY sister framed it for me.  It's wonderful, and pure and childlike, and it makes me happy every time I look at it.

Thanksgiving was fun and exciting, and I got to make dinner for my grandmother.  I love that I got to do this.  Grandma doesn't get around as well as she used to (bit of an understatement), and cooking dinner would have worn her out.  So, I got the chance to spend time with her and help her out with dinner.  It wasn't anything particularly fancy, but it was cooked with love.  On Wednesday, I'll be going back to help her decorate for Christmas (apparently there are a ton of Santas needing to be displayed).

Speaking of Christmas:
I read something on facebook about giving gifts that align with the 5 hands: hand-made, hand-me-down, second hand, helping hand (donation), and hand-in-hand.  Apparently, this is from The Story of Stuff, which is an amazing website and community, and I highly recommend checking it out.  I'm trying to move toward more thoughtful, smaller gifts: things that I can make (and I can make a lot of things), but with two adorable nieces, it's been hard for me to resist buying them the nice things.  This year, there will be some "hand-made" candles (I had bought three huge candles last year or the year before, and when I moved, they melted in my car, so I'm melting them down, and pouring them into smaller containers and decorating the lids), some sewing projects, and probably some Heifer donations. But, mixed in, there's still the book store shopping, and online browsing, and, of course, the dreaded Wal-Mart runs.

Maybe next year I'll get better at gifting.  But for now: enjoy some pictures of Gingerbread Houses!

Mom always makes the dough for the houses from scratch.  25 years of gingerbread!

Molly's house.  Each kid had an adult helper, and I helped Molly.  The fruit roll up is a carpet, and one of the gingerbread girls is named Lady Gaga.  Last time I ever make a bad joke in front of a 5 year old!

Charlotte's house.  Amy was the helper here.  I think maybe she had a little more focus than Molly and I did.

Jake's house.  Last year, my brother's girlfriend, Lauren, made Jake a gingerbread space ship.  I suspect it will become a requirement from now on.

Mom's house.  She almost never decorates a house, and this year, she got to decorate a light house and a light house keeper's house.  (Another Lauren donation to the cause)

This is my house.  Kinda lacking in Christmas spirit, but I have an ecologically responsibly harvested shake roof, natural sandstone chimney, a rainwater collection system and organic garden, and a tilapia pond.  Off the gingerbread grid, baby!

William's house.  Since William lives in Maine, and the house didn't entirely survive the shipping process, we decided that Sandy did the damage.  At least they have a rock wall to help ease their pain.

Developments

So, for my birthday/Christmas present this year, my parents are paying for my ticket to a Tumbleweed workshop!  The one I plan to go to is in Austin, TX, and I will be staying in a tiny house, and probably biking around town once I get there.  I'm very excited!

My Birthday Present!

The guy who is running the workshop is crazy-go-nuts.  I'm hoping that I get a good foundation for my own build.  I'm still not sure what I officially want to do, but I think this might help me to clarify my plans.

I'm hoping that someone will be able to come with me, because it'll be more fun to not be alone, but now that Mom and Dad are paying for the workshop, I can really afford to do what I want.


On another topic: I've been working on some commissions for quilting, which is nice.  And the fencing club is going really well now!  We've had a lot of new students and many have come back! 

Next thing to decide: Where do I want to live?  I guess this really depends on where I find a job.  If I can't find a job in this area, I suppose I can go wherever I want.  Really thinking about the Pacific Northwest.

Daunted

I have been exploring my options for tiny housing.  I know that I should be looking at the next step, not 40 steps down the line, but the part that interests me is the building of the house, not the job to save money for the land, or the apartment to get out of my parent's house while I save the money.  There are literally thousands of decisions to make between now and when I finally finish my house, and I'll let you in on a secret.  I'm not really very good at the details.  I like big picture, and by big picture I mean, I can make a decision on the size, and the location, but siding, or roof shape, or windows just kind of give me anxiety.

I would have liked to have built my house to be 9' x 15', but due to zoning laws and the like, I would have had to have hired a contractor, or at the least had inspectors come out to make sure it was up to snuff.  While being up to snuff is not necessarily a bad thing, inspectors and contractors cost money, and my plans would have needed to be approved (not bloody likely).  So, now I'm thinking 8'x20', so I can put it on a trailer.  I like the idea of a loft, but unfortunately I don't know how to design that myself, and I haven't been able to find plans that work with my idea of what I want my house to be. 

I think maybe I've been going about this bass-ackwards.  I have actually drawn up the floor plans, and I'm deciding what furniture will go where.  Maybe this is limiting me in certain aspects.  No, I know that it's limiting me, because I know how I want things to look, and where I want things to go, but I can't find a blueprint that will accommodate that.  The biggest problem I'm running into is road clearances.  I'd like to have the bed on a loft, because it's a separate space, and I feel like I'm more likely to sleep better, and be productive if I have to climb to a loft or out of a loft in the morning.  But, I'm not sure how tall I can build it.  I don't know how I can appropriately pitch the roof, or really anything about it.  And thinking about it is giving me stress.

But, to give you all an idea of what I've been working on, here are my drawings of the floor plans.

(Ok, I have scanned in my drawings, but I accidentally scanned them in the wrong format, and I've been planning to re-scan them, but I'm lazy.  So, most of this post was actually written about a week ago.)

Another option that occurred to me today: buying a pre-existing tiny house.  There are a few in a friend's neighborhood in Olathe.  I wouldn't have to worry about zoning, and I could renovate it.  It doesn't allow me to do the whole "mini-homestead" thing, but I could do a small garden, and maybe it would be a good compromise between tiny house lifestyle and city living (or suburb living, as the case may be).

Hmmm...

Well, it's been a SUCKY couple of days.  Long story short, John and I broke up because we both want each other to be happy.  We are still friends and talk all the time.  Counter-intuitive, but that's kinda how we roll.

Ok, I don't really want to dwell on that, so TINY HOUSE TIME!

I've designed an 9'x15' house that would not be able to go on a trailer due to width restrictions, so I am thinking that if I decide to go with that house that I would buy some land, and build it on a foundation.  On one hand, it kind of negates a major plus of having a tiny house (portability), but on the other hand, I can build it more sustainably (weight not being an issue) and I can garden and raise some livestock, and I really like that idea.  Also, having a more permanent home means having a higher likelihood of getting a job in the school district. 

On the negative side of this coin, it would cost more money to start, and WAY more time.  I could potentially purchase a tiny house and plop it down somewhere within the next year or so (maybe).  There are still things to think about, for sure.  I'm leaning toward the getting land option, but I've still got plenty of time.

I've finally started working on getting my teaching license transferred to Kansas, so I should be able to sub soon.  For now, babysitting, and going through all of my stuff in the garage so that mom might be able to park inside this winter.  So far, no dice.

Oh, also, I'm gangbusting ahead with the fencing club.  I'll be on the board soon (I think) and we're working on marketing and curriculum.

So, I guess that's all for now.  I'll try to post after I've volunteered at the Water Fair on Saturday.

Deep, Thinky Thoughts

The last week has been pretty full to the brim of lots and lots of thought.  I've been thinking about the tiny house, my future job, kids, relationships, locations, and how I want to be remembered after I die.  Like I said, lots and lots of thought.

It started last Friday.  While I was hanging out with my friend Jordan, he told me about an interview for a job that he didn't feel excited about, but he still wanted it.  I asked him why he would pursue something that he wasn't passionate about?  Through a much longer explanation, it basically came out that it was the "grown up" thing to do.  Which, of course, started my thought-cycle off and going, with me barely holding on to the handlebars.

Is building a tiny house another way for me to avoid "growing up?"  Is it really reasonable to expect to be able to move every couple of years and still have a "grown up" job?  While I was talking to him, he said that subbing was a job for people who were either looking for full time work or people who were retired.  What does it say about me that I have been thinking about just being a sub?

So, after wrestling with this most of the weekend, during which I played at a haunted corn maze, and spent time with the boyfriend that I would like to grow old with, but can't, I came home and my dad started the cycle going again.  We were discussing something about ages of things, and dad looked shocked that I am turning 27 this year.  He said, "oh wow!  You really do need to grow up."  Now, I'm pretty sure that it came out completely wrong because if you know my dad, then you know he's really not the most eloquent of guys, and occasionally he forgets to think before he speaks.  But whether or not he meant it to sound that harsh, it did.  Then he told me that I need to figure out what I want to do with my life so that I can start budgeting toward it.  Sound advice, except for one thing.  I don't know what I want to do with "the rest of my life."  I'm not a prior planner.  I make snap decisions, and I fly by the seat of my pants.  This is part of me.  For instance, my decision to eventually build a tiny house.  I didn't do the research and then decide.  I decided and then did the research to figure out how to do it.  That's just the way I am.

Then, there's the babies.  I am at the age when all of my friends start having babies.  Two friends have had babies in the last six months, and two more friends, plus my sister-in-law are pregnant now.  There is a lot of "baby talk" going around lately, which started the cycle once more.

John, whom I love with all of my heart and never want to be away from, has two kids.  He does not want any more.  In fact, he has had a vasectomy to ensure that no more kids can happen.  Being 42, I guess it's understandable.  The kid raising part of his life is done.  But.  I'm not sure about the kid raising part of mine.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a mom.  In high school, I would say that I didn't want to get married but I wanted kids (my parent's marriage was going through a rough time when I was in high school).  Up until recently I always figured that I would go to the sperm bank if I turned 30 and hadn't met someone that I wanted to have kids with.  There's the rub.  I wanted (maybe want) to have kids with John.  But it's not going to happen.  So, do I give up on the biggest, best love I've ever had, or do I give up on kids.  And, obviously, it's not quite so black and white.  There are so many extenuating circumstances with us that it'd make your head spin.  But, this is how it feels to me.

Everyone's been pushing me this way and that way about finding a job, "using my talent," being a grown up, having kids or not having kids.  It's incredibly overwhelming.  I just feel broken today.

Searching For The Little Things

This morning, I could not find my car keys.  Anywhere.  My mom and I combed the house three or four times over looking for them.  I even had John, the key finder extraordinaire, on the phone, telling me where I should look.  Of course, I do have a spare set of keys, but you might be able to guess where they are.  That's right, they're in the car.  After thirty minutes, my mom finally calls "Sary, come see what I found!" (she was very pleased with herself).  There, in the laundry room, in front of the washer, were my car keys.  They were underneath some towels that I had probably tripped on when I switched the laundry the night before.

I mentioned to my mom a couple of weeks ago that if I had a tiny house, I wouldn't have to spend so much time looking for my keys, because there would be fewer places for them to hide (she didn't believe me, but I guess that's okay).  I think this is also true of "tiny pleasures."

Tammy Strobel (www.rowdykittens.com) prompted her readers to take a few minutes to write down the little things that make them happy, or "tiny pleasures."  I really believe that this is one of the major reasons I want to live in a tiny house, so that my "tiny pleasures" will have fewer places to hide.  So, in an effort to locate a few tiny pleasures, I will enumerate them here for you.

(Disclaimer: These are in no particular order)
1. I love to play music.  Especially when I don't NEED to play.  If it's just for me, and no one is around to hear, I'll sit down to play piano, or guitar, or sing opera at the top of my lungs.
2. I love to hang out with my dog.  Right now, she's snoring away on top of a newspaper and a bag from Jo-Ann's with her head on my foot.  She's so funny, and just comforting to be around.
3. I love finishing projects.  Starting is daunting, the middle is boring, but when you're done, it's amazing.
4. I love the smell of clean laundry.  I like to put my arms in the middle of the warm pile of clothes straight from the dryer and feel the heat and smell the clean.
5. I like to browse the fabric stores.  I feel so zen in the middle of the racks.  I always feel good afterwards, especially if I didn't buy anything, because then I didn't have to wait in any lines, which I DON'T like.
6. I like doing the crossword puzzle in the mornings.  I'll have a cup of coffee, maybe a bowl of cereal, and enjoy a nice slow morning.
7. I like to clean.  Dusting, sweeping, cleaning the sinks, washing the mirrors, and cleaning the toilet.  The only thing I don't like to do is the dishes.  This will come as a shock to my family, but it's really only happened since I started making my own natural cleaning products.
8. I like to plant things.  I don't necessarily do real well at the maintaining of plants, but I like to start them.
9. I like to draw.  I am actually pretty good, if I do say so myself, though most of my drawings are costumes that I need to make for other people.
10. I like researching and planning (hence all the talk on here of the tiny house for which I won't be ready for a long time).  I actually will plan trips that I know I'll never take, though I usually think I will at the time, just for fun.

There ya go.  Ten tiny pleasures.  And they are almost all things that I can do every day.

Productivity

Productivity is the bane of my existence.  Some days, I can be uber productive, getting things done right and left.  Sunday was one of those days.  I got up early and ran another 5k, beat my last time by 3 minutes!  I think I probably could have done even better but the hills on the course were kicking my butt!  However, I did end up placing 55th in my age group, which is a heck of a lot better than dead last (thank goodness I'm 26 now).  Then, after watching my sister finish the 10 mile run,  I went to church, went to a meeting, turned in paperwork so that I can work at the church daycare, and then later that day, went to bell rehearsal and ran choir rehearsal!  See, productive!

So if some days, I am uber productive, conversely, some days I am not.  Monday, I laid in bed most of the day.  I wasn't sick.  I wasn't that sore.  I just didn't want to do anything.  I may have let my medication lapse a little (don't be mad, John!), so, getting back to it has helped a lot.

Today, I got up and had Dad help me put my bed frame together.  I haven't slept on a bed with a frame in probably 3 years.  It looks a little more grown-up being actually above the floor.  Then we had Papa Pancakes, and afterwards Dad and I got some things at the hardware store to finish up projects.  I worked around the house a little, and then took a whole bunch of stuff to the thrift store and the library to be donated.

I've really been trying to downsize the amount of stuff I own.  I went through my closet and got rid of a couple of skirts and some shirts and dresses.  I went through my boxes of books and pulled out a lot to go to the public library.  I've even made a resolution to not buy any more fabric until I've gone through my stash to be sure I don't have something that would work.  I'd like to be down to a manageable amount of fabric by the time I'm ready to move into my apartment.

Oh yeah, not sure if I've talked about this yet, but I've decided that while I'm saving up for my tiny house, and finishing school here, I'm going to move back into the apartment complex that I lived in 4 years ago.  The complex had a lot of two bedroom apartments, and they decided to split the two bedrooms into two studios.  So, one side has the two bedrooms and they turned one into the kitchen, and the other side has the kitchen and living room (and the fireplace).  I lived on the bedroom side before and it was designed very awkwardly, but still do-able.  I'd much rather have the fireplace, though!



On a different topic, my mom and I talked about why she was pushing me so hard to get a job, and not get a tiny house.  She says that she's concerned that I'll be wasting my musical talent if I don't stay in one place all the time (that's not really how she said it, but that's kinda what I got from it).  I guess I'm kind of concerned about that, too.  Not that I won't have music in my life, but that I'll have spent so much money on under grad and then graduate school and I won't do anything with my degrees.  On the other hand, it's so stressful for me to think about staying in one place forever, and schools don't tend to hire people who move every other year.

Since this is the semester of searching, I guess this is just something else I'll have to ponder.

My Obsession

... Isn't that a perfume?

Moving on!  The people that know me well are quite familiar with my brain-type habits.  I can become a bit, well... focused when it comes to new ideas.  I will stay up nights planning a sewing project, or researching a new character for the Renaissance Festival (especially if it's not MY character!).  Lately, it's been tiny houses.  Yes, I realize that I've already done a post about them, and mine specifically (in fact I've done two), but it really is all I can think about.  I am already looking at building materials on craigslist!

Now, I have come to some decisions regarding the timing of my house.  First, I need to finish my master's degree.  I'm only 4 credits away, but I NEEDED the break.  Secondly, I need to earn some money.  My student loans are coming due in February, and I'd like to be in a situation where I can pay them off without too much worry, AND put aside money to build my house.  Third, I need to start transitioning to a smaller situation.

This last week or so, I've been looking at all of my stuff, and deciding how much I really need.  Right now, I couldn't fit all of my stuff into a studio without building a loft bed out of storage boxes and plastic tubs.  Even with my "bare essentials" I've got way too much stuff. 

I watched a documentary this morning called "We the Tiny House People" by Kirsten Dirksen.  Check it out here.  In it, one of the subjects, a man who lived in a 300 square foot apartment in Barcelona, Spain, said (and I'm paraphrasing) , "A house only really needs a kitchen, running water, and a good bed to be a home."  How much more than that do I have?  Hmmm...

So, in order to start the transition to less, I'm going to start a list of the "absolute necessities."

Kitchen:
One skillet, one saucepan, a toaster oven, a small refrigerator (maybe 2'x2'x3'), a mixing bowl, a coffee maker, two knives, a cup, bowl, plate, spoon/fork/knife, towel, dish soap, rag
(this makes the multiple boxes of kitchen stuff that got packed when I moved out of my apartment seem quite ridiculous)

Bathroom:
Toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, face wash, soap, bottle for lemon juice (though I could also just use leftover coffee), hair brush, one towel, mascara, razor, nail clippers

Bedroom:
Mattress-type thing, one set of plain sheets, one set of flannel sheets, one pillow, comforter/blanket, lamp

Clothing:
one pair of jeans, one pair of nice pants, one skirt, two nice shirts, three t-shirts, one pair of pajama pants, one pair of nice shoes, one pair of "bumming" shoes, one pair of running shoes, running clothes (not that I've been doing all that much of that), a sweater, and a jacket/coat

Miscellaneous:
Cleaning supplies (vinegar, baking soda, essential oil), broom, toilet paper

Really, that's not that much stuff.  I'm not counting books, music stuff, or sewing supplies, but this could easily fit into a studio, or a tiny house. 

A Possible 42

I posted several weeks ago about a tiny house.  I keep thinking about it more and more.  I can't get it off my mind really.  John sent me a link to this blog about a girl building her own tiny house, and I've been looking at tiny houses for sale, and tiny house plans to buy.  I really think I want to do this. 

The pros:
- I have a wanderlust that kicks in every few years or so.  It would be nice to be able to just hitch my home up to a truck and go wherever I want.
- I believe that having this place would give me greater confidence to go and try new places (hopefully outside the midwest!)
- Living in such a small space forces you to be frugal and helps you to keep your priorities in order.
- Facilitates a much greener lifestyle.
- Costs much less than a traditional house.

The cons:
- I have NO money.  I kind of have negative money with student loans coming due here in the next few months.  The "build it yourself" cost of the home I want is $20,000, which is a little less than 4 years in the studio I used to rent in Merriam, KS.
- It is a pain to transfer teaching licenses.  I am in the process of that right now, and it takes a long time.  So, subbing, or teaching in a different state every year will be problematic.  Not to mention, school districts will not hire you if you're not going to be around forever.
- Insurance for these kinds of homes is scarce/doesn't exist.

I'm sure there are many more cons and pros out there, but I think this is enough for now.  As it is, I don't think I can do this any time soon.  I am not ready for home ownership.  The thought of this project has been so exciting to me, and the thought that I have to put it off, while being much more fiscally responsible, is depressing.  I don't want this to become another of my "almosts."

In the mean time, I supposed I can start preparing for it.  I can downsize my possessions.  I can save up money.  I can price what I want, and figure out how much I need.  It's still doesn't feel the same. 

Has anyone else run into this kind of feeling?

Banjos and Pyro-kids

Alright, here we go, back on the band wagon.  It's been a busy busy week and a half or so.

Last weekend was Winfield.  If you are not a folk music fan, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.  Winfield is the common name for the Walnut Valley Folk Music Festival, which takes place in Winfield, KS.  It's 3-5 days (depending on how early you get there) of banjos, guitars, fiddles, camping, faire food, and port-a-potties.  This year was the 41st annual, and my family has been there every year since probably the 5th (not really sure).  When I was in elementary school, we always got out early Thursday to go, stayed all weekend in tents and hung out with Grandpa and the Aunts and Uncles that could make it.  It was awesome!  There was fun music, and campfires, and staying up late, and sitting with Grandpa, and eating awesome food that had no nutritional value!

As an adult, it's a bit of a different story.  Setting up my own tent in the rain.  Having much less flexibility and cartilage so that you feel every rock you sleep on.  That awesome food with no nutritional value now gives you heart burn, and probably mud-butt (which goes really well with port-a-potties, let me tell you)!  However, being an adult, I think the best thing about Winfield is watching Grandpa and the kids enjoy it. Every year, my grandfather celebrates his birthday by going to Winfield.  He turned 87 this year, and he's still camping!  He loves sitting, listening to music with his grandkids all around him.

My favorite memory is Grandpa asking each of the little cousins one at a time if they would like to go get a funnel cake with him.  When the oldest said no, Grandpa was a little disappointed.  Next one said no, more disappointed.  Next one, even more!  Finally, the youngest one woke up from his nap, and said "YEAH!"  I don't remember a bigger smile on Grandpa's face.  I'm pretty sure that the cousins are just an excuse for grandpa to get funnel cake!

This year was the cousin's first exposure to a campfire.  There's such a community atmosphere in the campgrounds, and when one of our neighbors had a campfire, it became the Randolph family hang out.  The kids absolutely loved putting things in the fire.  Sticks, leaves, hay, tomatoes, cookies, didn't matter.  Saturday night, I came back to the campsite to see one of the little cousins (the 5 year old) sitting outside his tent looking so dejected.  I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he didn't want to go to bed, he just wanted to sit by the fire (for "sit by the fire" read "poke things into the fire").  A big ol' tear rolled down his cheek, and I told him that he got to dream about all the things that he would poke into the fire the next morning.  The next morning, the youngest (3) was all about the fire.  He would pick up a cookie, break it, and say, "It's broken, can I put it in the fire?"  When I told him that he could still eat broken cookies, he decided to drop the cookie bits on the ground.  "It's dirty, can I put it in the fire?"

I have to admit that I was not looking forward to this year, because I was basically guilted into it.  Grandpa would tell me that he was so glad I was coming, and dad bought two tickets without asking me if I actually wanted to go, but I'm really glad I did.